


There's No Way You Don't Know Why

by OwenToDawn



Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [1]
Category: Block B, DEAN (Korean Musician), FANXY CHILD (Band)
Genre: Accidental Dating, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fivesome - M/M/M/M/M, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, M/M, No Cheating or Infidelity, Oblivious!Dongwook, Polyamory, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: Dongwook has great friends. Sometimes they're more than friendsOr that time Dongwook ends up in a five-way relationship for several years without realizing it
Relationships: Jung Dongwook | Penomeco/Cheon Seunghyun | Millic, Jung Dongwook | Penomeco/Kwon Hyuk | Dean, Jung Dongwook | Penomeco/Shin Hyoseob | Crush, Jung Dongwook | Penomeco/Woo Jiho | Zico, Seunghyun | Millic/Dongwook | Penomeco/Hyuk | Dean/Hyoseob | Crush/Jiho | Zico
Series: Fanxy Child - OT5 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628101
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	There's No Way You Don't Know Why

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally going to be just a quick orgy fic, but then Meco decided he wanted to have an emotional growth moment so I did that instead. With an orgy also. I tried to adhere to the 'canon' timeline as best I could but I remained deliberately vague about the exact year to save myself. Hopefully it isn't too distracting. 
> 
> Thank you to SublimeDiscordance for helping with the logistics of the five-some, you're a true bro and koochieagenda for making sure dialogue was coherent. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments are loved!
> 
> Title from Love? by Elo & Penomeco

Dongwook doesn’t drink. It’s not because he doesn’t know how to have fun, or thinks drinking is bad necessarily. All of his friends drink after all and generally he sees his friends as people who make good choices. Usually. It’s just he’s constantly anxious and the one time he tried drinking he ended up clinging to Jiho’s calves and crying into his lap about an existential crisis of some kind while Jiho stared at him in horror. It was terrible.

So he doesn’t drink. Which is fine. No one in their immediate friend group gives him shit for it which makes him think Jiho must’ve said something. Jiho’s a good friend like that.

And maybe a little more than a friend.

He doesn’t remember the first time he and Jiho kissed – most of late high school included them making out and exchanging awkward hand jobs without eye contact. The memories are too clouded with shame to remember clearly. It isn’t until Dongwook moves back home and Jiho gets famous while still finding time to sleep on Dongwook’s bedroom floor like they were kids that they were honest with each other. They were both gay. Really gay.

Jiho leads a busy life and needs somewhere to rest. Dongwook needs someone to distract him from the monotony of life after giving up music. So they graduate to hand jobs while looking each other in the eyes and over time came blow jobs and awkward fingering and first times and it’s great. They aren’t dating. They’re just friends who fucked. And then Jiho introduces him to Dean, a guy who’s voice made him so excited that he blows up Dongwook’s phone about him for weeks.

And because Dongwook’s a good friend, even when he’s depressed, he lets Jiho drag Dean along too sometimes. It doesn’t take long for Dean to become Hyuk instead. They exchange numbers. Hyuk fills a space in his life that Jiho can’t for all his patience and understanding.

“Jiho understand anxiety, but not depression. Not like the kind you have,” Hyuk says as Dongwook flips through Hyuk’s notebook full of lyrics. He’s stretched out on Dongwook’s bed while Dongwook sits on the floor.

“And you,” Dongwook says. “Going by these lyrics.”

“Most of those will never see a studio,” Hyuk says, leaning over to rest his chin on Dongwook’s shoulder. “It doesn’t really fit the image I’m going for.”

Dongwook frowns and turns a page. “Then why show me?”

“Because that’s easier than trying to talk about it,” Hyuk says.

Dongwook turns his head, freezing when his cheek bumps Hyuk’s nose before shifting just enough that they can look at each other. There’s an intensity in his gaze that makes his skin pebble up with goosebumps, like Hyuk can see right through him to his soft insides and pick apart his secrets. It’s not frightening though. If anything, it’s exhilarating.

When Hyuk closes the distance to kiss him, Dongwook isn’t shocked. He isn’t shocked by the way Hyuk grabs at his neck and twists thin fingers through his hair as he licks his way into Dongwook’s mouth. He isn’t even shocked when Hyuk hauls him up and into bed. It isn’t until after when they lie side by side in bed panting as they come down from their orgasms that shock and panic settle in.

Because he’s just Dongwook and Hyuk is Dean. And sure he and Jiho aren’t dating but he’s pretty sure it isn’t cool to fuck your best friend’s friend when you’re already fucking each other.

“This was a bad idea,” Dongwook says.

“Why?” Hyuk asks as he sits up and tousles his own hair.

“Because I’m just going to drag you down,” Dongwook says. He doesn’t mean to be that honest and upfront, but panic is a bitch like that.

“Jiho and I aren’t your friend out of pity, Dongwookie,” Hyuk says, reaching out to squeeze Dongwook’s knee.

"What if I never make music again?”

Hyuk shrugs. “That’s your business. I think you should make music, but even if you didn’t, I’d still be your friend and I’d still wanna touch your dick.”

“That’s so fucking gay,” Dongwook says, but he’s laughing a bit now as the panic recedes.

"Yeah, I am.” Hyuk frowns. “Well. Bi. Whatever.”

"You don’t want to date though, do you? Me, I mean?” Dongwook asks. “Because like…I don’t think I can handle dating anyone. And I’m sort of fucking someone else too and I don’t really wanna stop doing that.”

“Works for me,” Hyuk says.

And it does work. Sometimes it’s just the two of them, but sometimes Jiho joins too. They fuck and make music and Jiho and Hyuk travel the world while Dongwook stays in his room and soaks the pages of his notebooks with lyrics as he tries to deal with the loneliness that comes from being left behind. It’s fine though. He manages and their friend group expands. He meets Hyoseob and Seunghyun and falls into bed with them too.

“Gays are attracted to gays,” Seunghyun says with a level of maturity that seems out of place for someone his age. He leans his head against Dongwook’s bedroom window and fiddles with Dongwook’s lighter. “We recognize something in each other. Or something. I don’t fucking know.”

“I’ll turn it into a pretty lyric,” Dongwook says, voice shot from how deep in his throat he’d taken Seunghyun’s dick.

He turns his face into Seunghyun’s hip and ignores how jittery he feels. It doesn’t help really, having sex. In the moment it does, sure. He gets out of his head, focuses on how his body feels and how his partner looks. But the moment it’s over, the sinking fear that his whole life is going to careen into disaster creeps back in.

“You should write more than lyrics,” Seunghyun says.

“I can’t,” Dongwook says, the sigh in his voice heavy in his chest. Resigned. Tired. You can’t feed a family on the whims of mass media consumption.

“Artists aren’t meant to never create. Even if it never sees the light of day, it has to come out eventually,” Seunghyun says. “Keeping it inside certainly isn’t-“

Dongwook silences him by climbing into his lap and kissing him. Seunghyun sighs into the kiss, but he lets Dongwook pry the lighter out of his hands and they’re both young enough that their arousal cuts short any further conversation.

After he leaves, Dongwook texts Apro. He’s his closest friend besides Jiho, and the only close music friend he hasn’t fucked. He also has a level head. It’s a good counter to his own racing thoughts. He asks him what he thinks of Seunghyun’s idea that if he made music again, his anxiety wouldn’t be as bad.

“I’m no doctor but the logic seems sound,” Apro says because he calls to respond instead of texting like everyone else. “Just go make some music. Talk to people. There’s people in this scene who want to work with you if you’re willing.”

And maybe he’s sick of wasting away and he just needed the reassurance that it would all work out one way or another, but it’s finally possible to drag himself to Jiho’s studio after that. He shows up at 3:00 AM with a backpack of journals full of lyrics and announces he’s ready to make music again. Jiho stares at him for a moment before lunging across the room and nearly knocking him off his feet with a hug so tight that he starts to wonder if he’s going to be able to breathe again.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” Jiho says, and his voice is wet and thick with tears and Dongwook feels his own eyes start stinging at the sound.

Before he can say anything in response though, Jiho pulls back and cups Dongwook’s face in both his hands before pressing their lips together. It’s not like their usual kisses, which were given in the heat of the moment while fucking, but it’s just as desperate, like he’s trying to convey a million different feelings in thoughts in one action. Dongwook covers Jiho’s hands with his own and gasps as Jiho’s tongue slides against his. They cling to each other and kiss until their lips taste like salt from their tears.

They’re happy tears though, so Dongwook supposes it’s okay.

Jiho steps back, thumbs rubbing the last few stray tears from Dongwook’s cheeks before he rubs the sleeve of his shirt against his own face. Dongwook can’t help but laugh a little. His chest feels light, giddiness filling him up in a way that he hasn’t felt in years. Perhaps Seunghyun was right.

Artists were meant to create.

-.-

Life changes, but Fanxy Child doesn’t. Dongwook learns how to be famous, learns how to model for an ad and speak in an interview, learns how to establish himself when he’s on stage with the giants that are his friends. It’s hard work, but he likes it. It doesn’t scare him the way it used to, because at the end of the day he has friends he can fall back on.

And fuck. 

Because even with the increased media scrutiny, it remains easy to continue their somewhat odd friendship. Dongwook _knows_ it’s odd. Most people aren’t gay, and most people don’t just casually fuck their friends together, but he’s never really hung out with other gay people so he doesn’t really know what a normal group of friends would do. He thinks their situation is different enough that for them that it isn’t odd. After all, who else are a bunch of closeted guys who are in the public eye supposed to fuck?

But even the sex has changed from what it used to be. Before, it had been more a distraction than anything. His friends would filter in and out of his house, they’d hang out and catch up and sometimes they’d fuck and while it was enjoyable, Dongwook wasn’t in denial about how much of it was escapism. Now, it feels more…real. His anxiety is still there, but making out with Hyuk after a concert in the venue bathroom is for fun, not to run away from himself.

“Fuck, we gotta stop,” Hyuk says, pushing Dongwook back as his hands slip down the back of Hyuk’s jeans. “I’m not fucking in here.”

“Does that mean you’ll-“

The bathroom door opens and they startle apart but it’s just Hyoseob, drenched in sweat. He shrugs off his jacket and tosses it on the bathroom counter before he suddenly notices them both and just rolls his eyes at their kiss swollen lips and Hyuk’s obvious hard on.

“Couldn’t wait for the half hour it takes to get home?” he asks, heading over to the sink and splashing water on the back of his neck.

“Not my fault Dongwookie is a horn dog,” Hyuk says.

Dongwook watches as Hyuk glides over to Hyoseob and drops a soft kiss to the side of Hyoseob’s sweaty head, hand sliding down his back with a tender affection that he’s never really noticed before.

“See you later. Love you,” Hyuk says. Then he steps back, adjusts his long jacket to cover himself better, and heads out of the bathroom.

Hyoseob finishes rinsing the sweat off his face and then leans back, catching Dongwook’s confused gaze in the mirror and tilting his head to the side.

"What’s up?” he asks.

Dongwook frowns and shakes his head. “Nothing.” Because apparently nothing is weird. It’s just bros to kiss each other goodbye and say they love each other and Dongwook’s the one making it weird every time it happens. He steps forward and hooks his arms around Hyoseob’s waist, leaning down while looking at him in the mirror to drop a kiss against his warm neck and give him a light squeeze.

“Come by my place tonight?” Dongwook asks.

Hyoseob stares at him, eyes wide like he’s shocked and anxiety thrums in Dongwook’s chest. Maybe he read something wrong.

“Yeah, sure,” Hyoseob says.

Dongwook smiles and lets him go. “Great.”

Part of him is pretty confident that he’s missing something, that there’s some social cue he’s blind too, but he figures someone will let him know eventually if he is. He’s not about to make the arrangement they have together awkward by asking stupid questions.

It’s late by the time Hyoseob knocks on his door. He’s half asleep on the couch and it takes what feels like all his energy to haul himself up and open the door. When he opens it, Hyoseob steps in, eyes half closed and shoulders hunched the way he gets when he’s exhausted and Dongwook can’t help but be grateful for it. Originally he’d been hoping to get laid but now that the adrenaline from the concert has worn off, he just wants to sleep.

“You want a drink?” he asks.

“Thought you didn’t drink,” Hyoseob says as he takes off his shoes and grabs his usual slippers off the rack by the door.

Everyone in Fanxy Child keeps a pair at his place. He’s not sure if it’s a holdover from how they all used to come to his house back before he got back into music, but his place still remains one of the main places they all end up at together. Dongwook likes it though. It’s cool being the glue that holds them together.

“I mean not usually, but Jiho left some whiskey last time he was here,” Dongwook says.

“I’ll take a bit,” Hyoseob says. “With ice though.”

Dongwook pulls the whiskey from the cabinet where Jiho left it and after a moment of hesitation grabs two glasses. It’s not that he can’t handle it in small doses after all. It’s just when he gets drunk that his anxiety goes completely out of control. He drops a few ice cubes in both glasses and pours a bit for them both before heading into the living room where Hyoseob is already stretched out on the couch.

“Make room,” he says.

Hyoseob groans and sits up to accept the offered drink, sipping at it as Dongwook settles onto the couch next to him. “You don’t have to prove anything to me by drinking.”

“I’m not,” Dongwook says. “If I get drunk, my anxiety gets bad. This won’t get me drunk.” He sips at his own and lets the whiskey slide over his tongue and down his throat. Jiho bought it, so the taste could’ve been bad, but Dongwook saw the price on it before so he knows it’s safe. “I wish I could drink more. The taste is nice.”

"Just add a little to some Coke next time,” Hyoseob says. He twists on the couch and leans back against the arm of it before kicking off the slippers and then shoving his toes under Dongwook’s thigh. “What about being drunk makes you anxious?”

“Jiho didn’t say?” Dongwook asks.

Hyoseob shakes his head. “He just said not to tease you if you didn’t drink when we first met.”

Dongwook smiles, chest warming at the thought of Jiho looking out for him while respecting his privacy. “It’s not something I’ve ever really thought about I guess. My anxiety is more…fear of being out of control. Fear of failure because I can’t control something. When I’m drunk, I feel like I can’t control myself as well and then I get scared that I’m gonna mess something up, so then I start panicking and then…” He shrugs. “So I don’t get drunk.”

“Damn,” Hyoseob says. “Is it really that bad?”

“Not anymore,” Dongwook says. “I mean, I still don’t get drunk, but making music again and performing, that helps. Even if it is intimidating to be around you guys.”

“What do you mean?” Hyoseob asks and when Dongwook looks at him, he finds that his expression is neutral, the way it gets when he’s trying not to let a reporter see what he’s thinking.

“I mean…you guys are way better than me, and more popular, and that’s scary. But the anxiety doesn’t get to me because I know I’ll never be better than you so I’m not worried about failing,” Dongwook says. He swallows the rest of his drink and sets it on the coffee table before stretching. “So I don’t get anxious when I’m on stage or anything.”

He gets to his feet and carries his glass back to the kitchen, sliding it close to the sink and then turning back to the living room to see Hyoseob frowning down into his own glass.

“You want to sleep on the couch or with me?” Dongwook asks.

“Dongwookie, can you please sit down again?” Hyoseob asks.

The lazy and sleepy feeling that had been filling him up vanishes the second the words are out of his mouth. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. It’s clear it’s something though. He takes a deep breath and sits down on the other end of the couch, leaning against the opposite arm so they can look at each other.

“What is it?” Dongwook asks.

“You can’t…keep putting yourself down like that,” Hyoseob says, still staring down at his lap. “You’re just as good as everyone else, and we love you just as much as we love each other.”

"I know,” Dongwook says, wrapping his arms around his knees and pulling them up to his chest. His tongue pokes out to play with his lip ring. He bites at it, just enough to get a twinge of pain to help steady himself. “I know you think that. It’s just not what I believe about myself.”

“You don’t believe we love you?” Hyoseob asks.

“Well, I know that,” Dongwook says with a smile. “We’re all best friends, of course you love me.”

Hyoseob’s expression turns to one of disbelief, though Dongwook isn’t sure why.

“Right,” Hyoseob says after a moment, pulling out his phone with quick and jerky movements. “Well…I’m pretty tired. I’m gonna just sleep out here tonight.”

"Yeah…yeah that’s fine,” Dongwook says, unable to help the way his voice wavers because shit he didn’t have much alcohol but he knows he’s fucked up and he doesn’t know how and it’s clear Hyoseob doesn’t have any intention of telling him.

Hyoseob looks up and his lips turn down again. “Sorry. I just remembered something I left at the venue. I didn’t mean to sound rude.” He pushes his way across the couch and presses a kiss to Dongwook’s head. “It’ll be okay. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

Dongwook nods. “Yeah. Sure.”

-.-

When Dongwook wakes up the next morning, after a night of tossing and turning and waking up every twenty minutes, he’s warm and he can hear the tapping of fingers across a screen to his left. Sometime around 7:00 AM he had finally drifted off, apparently hard enough that he didn’t notice Jiho climb into bed with him.

“Did Hyoseob let you in?” he asks, rolling onto his side and rubbing his eyes.

Jiho jolts, dropping his phone in his lap before smiling when he sees Dongwook blinking up at him. “Yeah. Actually uh…we’re all here. Me, Seunghyun, and Hyuk too.”

Dongwook swallows. “Oh.”

“It’s not bad,” Jiho says, voice soft as he shifts down on the bed and tucks his own arm under his head so he can look at Dongwook. “Go ahead and shower. We’ll be here when you’re done.”

Dongwook nods and tries to steady his own heart rate that continues to race. Jiho leans forward and presses their lips together but it doesn’t do much to help calm him. He rolls out of bed and heads for the shower, trying to keep his breaths deep and slow the way that’s supposed to help when he’s having a panic attack, but it’s not doing much for him. Part of him is starting to wonder if all those breathing exercises are just bullshit.

He stands in front of the mirror that hangs on the back of his bathroom door as he towels his hair dry and stares at himself as he lets the towel drop to the floor. He’s not Hyuk or Seunghyun – he’s not beautiful in an ethereal breathtaking way like Hyuk or handsome and intense the way Seunghyun is. He doesn’t have the confidence and easy sexuality of Hyoseob or Jiho. And then there’s him. A guy who got lucky enough for people to care about him and support him.

It’s not that he thinks he’s ugly. He’s just not as good as everyone else. It’s not bad. It just is.

He pulls on a pair of gym shorts and one of his sweaters that’s balled up on the counter and heads back into his bedroom. Jiho is still there on his bed, pushing his glasses up on his face as he types. He looks up when Dongwook re-enters. The smile he offers, as familiar and warm as it is, doesn’t help him calm down.

“Trust me, it’s not bad,” Jiho says as he stands up. “We just haven’t been as clear about things as I guess we should have been.”

Dongwook just nods because his throat is so tight he doesn’t think he can speak. Jiho wraps an arm around his shoulders and tugs him out of the room and down the hall to the living room. True to his word, everyone else is there. Hyuk sits on the middle of the couch with Hyoseob next to him on his right and Seunghyun on his left. Seunghyun’s arms are crossed across his chest and Dongwook can see the muscle in his jaw jump as he stares out the window.

Jiho pulls him over to one of the reclining chairs on the other side of the room and tugs him down into it on his lap, arms looping around his waist and holding him secure. It’s a common position for them. But Dongwook can’t bring himself to relax into it, not this time.

“So, Hyoseob can start,” Jiho says.

Hyoseob nods. “So you know how we all….have been with each other for the last few years?”

“Yeah,” Dongwook says. “I mean it was a little weird at first but yeah.”

“And you’ve been a part of that. With us,” Hyoseob says. “And we all love each other and you but you keep calling us best friends.”

“I thought we were best friends,” Dongwook says, trying to keep his voice calm.

Hyoseob and Hyuk look at each other. Hyuk gives Hyoseob a helpless look, one shoulder crooking up in a partial shrug and then Seunghyun slaps his palms down against his thighs, drawing everyone’s attention to him instead.

“Fuck this. Dongwook, we’re all in love with you in that really romantic gay way and these guys were gonna dance around it and shit, but I’m so over you being this dense so congratulations, we’re all dating now,” Seunghyun says. He flaps both his hands like he’s shooing someone away and then folds his arm across his chest again. “If you want to. Or whatever.”

The silence is palpable. Dongwook is about ninety percent sure all the air has been sucked out of the room because he can’t seem to breathe and the corners of his vision begin to get spotty.

“What?” he chokes out.

“We thought you knew,” Hyuk says, lips turning down as something like shame crosses his face. “Like…three years ago. The morning after we all slept together? And-“

“I said we might as well date,” Jiho says, voice quiet against Dongwook’s ear. “And we spent the whole day in bed and watched movies and ate take out and blew off all our schedules. That was when we started saying we loved each other. And you did too.”

Dongwook shakes his head, the white noise filling it up making it impossible to process. “I just thought you meant like…we were all really good friends.”

“We don’t fuck any of our other friends,” Seunghyun says. “And I know you don’t either.”

“Look I get…” Dongwook shakes his head and lets out a breath. Jiho’s grip tightens on him and kisses his neck. “I get you guys loving each other or whatever or dating but I’m not…”

“If you say you’re not as good as us again, I’m gonna lose it,” Hyoseob says. “You do deserve us. All of us. The fact that we’ve been under the impression that we’ve been dating you for three years should prove that.”

Which…okay. That’s a good point. He can’t really deny that one at all.

“It’s not that easy,” Dongwook says after a moment. “I can’t just go from we’re best friends who fuck to dating that easily in my head.”

“Why not?” Jiho asks. “Nothing changes, does it? Do you love us? Not as best friends but like…romantically?”

Dongwook sighs and lets his head flop back to rest on Jiho’s shoulder as he stares at the ceiling and thinks. Of course he’s in love with them. He’s pretty sure that’s unavoidable after years of what they’ve been doing, but the idea of dating anyone had been so unattainable in his head his own feelings hadn’t been worth entertaining. He didn’t even acknowledge them most the time. There wasn’t any point.

“Yes, I do,” Dongwook says, hands coming up to cover his face. “But it’s not that simple for me to just…accept that it’s returned. Even if it has been this whole time and I’m just a huge fucking idiot.”

Jiho snorts, breath huffing out against his neck and it tickles just enough to make Dongwook laugh in response, which then turns into a giggle, and it dissolves from there because the whole situation is fucking absurd.

“Jesus Christ, I’m the dumbest motherfucker on the planet,” Dongwook says once he catches his breath. He sits back up, reaching back to pat the side of Jiho’s face. “Alright. Fine. Let’s date. I’ll deal with my shit somehow.”

-.-

So they date. For real. And like Jiho says, nothing really changes. They still keep their slippers like usual at his house, and they fall into bed with one another when it’s convenient and their schedules line up which is pretty much never all five of them these days. Hyoseob still texts him to make sure he’s eating and taking his sleeping pills. Hyuk still texts him thirst trap pictures all day because he knows Dongwook is the one who gets the most worked up by them. Jiho still needs to be pulled out of his studio at the crack of dawn so he can go home and shower. Seunghyun is a little clingier than normal. When he leaves, he gets this intense look in his eyes and whispers ‘ _I love you’_ against his lips.

And really, that’s the thing that has changed. Instead of the usual feeling of numbness he’d been so used to he hadn’t even noticed it when he heard the words, his chest now fills with warmth and he can’t help but smile big and wide in the way that his elementary classmates said his teeth look dumb. But he doesn’t care because holy shit he has four boyfriends and they love him.

“I found it,” Jiho says over the phone one evening. “We’re all free tomorrow night.”

“Amazing,” Dongwook says as he rubs a towel over his head. His hair is bleached blonde now, but he hasn’t decided if he wants to put dye in it or not. He’ll need someone to pick a color for him. “So what’s the plan?”

“I was thinking we could all come to my place,” Jiho says. “I have the biggest bed.”

“I like where this is going,” Dongwook says.

“I was also thinking we should do something special for you,” Jiho continues.

Dongwook tugs the towel off and throws it over the shower curtain rod before leaning over the counter to get a good look at his hair in the mirror. “And what does that mean?”

“It means I was thinking we should focus on you,” Jiho says. Dongwook grins at his reflection because he can practically hear the blush in Jiho’s voice. “I want you to feel good.”

“You always make me feel good,” Dongwook says, feigning ignorance. He’s gotten a little bit better at it now that he’s on the same page as everyone else.

“I want you to feel loved,” Jiho says in a rush.

“With your dick,” Dongwook adds, grinning stretching wide when he hears Jiho splutter on the other end.

“I’m trying to be romantic, Dongwookie, stop!” Jiho whines.

“Alright, alright,” Dongwook says as he straightens back up. “What time you want me?”

"After dinner,” Jiho says.

The next night, as requested, Dongwook finds himself on Jiho’s massive bed with Seunghyun’s long fingers inside him as Hyoseob kisses him breathless. Hyuk and Jiho are somewhere on the other side of the bed, and judging by the sound they’re making out which is a sight Dongwook hates to miss but he likes kissing Hyoseob more. His leg jerks when Seunghyun’s fingers crook up and rub with just the right amount of pressure against his prostate. Seunghyun’s other hand spreads his legs wider and he groans into the kiss because he’s not as flexible as Hyuk or Jiho but he likes the way it feels to be manhandled.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Seunghyun says, pressing the words into his hip. “Hyoseob, pass me the lube.”

Hyoseob hums a low noise as he sucks at Dongwook’s tongue and then cups his face, tugging at his jaw so he can fuck his tongue deeper into Dongwook’s mouth. Jiho laughs and Dongwook hears the lube get tossed across the bed.

“I think Hyoseob is a bit distracted,” Hyuk says, voice ending on a gasp as though Jiho’s touching him.

“Kissing Dongwookie is always distracting,” Seunghyun says.

There’s the slick sound of him getting lube on his dick, and for a moment, Dongwook finds himself torn between kissing Hyoseob more and being able to look at Seunghyun. Hyoseob seems to be one step ahead of him. He pulls back and then shifts up on the bed so he can lean back against the headboard and Dongwook can rest his head back on his knee. Dongwook sucks in a rough breath as Seunghyun hooks his left leg over his arm, pushing it up as he leans in and slides the tip of his dick against his hole, smirking down at Dongwook as he does so.

“Don’t be mean,” Jiho says.

“I would never,” Seunghyun says even as he reaches down to tap the head of his dick against Dongwook’s hole again just to watch Dongwook squirm and gasp.

“Seunghyunnie…”

"Yeah, yeah, c’mere,” Seunghyun says, and his tone sounds annoyed but there’s nothing but affection in his eyes as he finally pushes in and buries his face in Dongwook’s neck.

Dongwook cries out, eyes squeezing shut tight because it’s been awhile since he and Seunghyun have been able to do this and Seunghyun’s dick is big. But it feels nice, even if the stretch burns. His head lolls to the side, freeing up space for Seunghyun to bite at his neck the way he loves to.

“Fuck…” The word falls out of him without him thinking about, too lost in the feeling of Seunghyun’s short but deep thrusts and the small pin pricks of pain at every soft bite.

“Yeah, just like that,” Seunghyun says, pressing so close that Dongwook can’t help but squirm beneath him at the sensation of his cock trapped between their warm stomachs.

Long fingers card through his hair, and for a moment he’s not sure whose they are until he feels Seunghyun’s lips on his as he holds his head in place so he can kiss him just as deep as he fucks him and fuck Dongwook loves him so much. It’d always been so easy to let Seunghyun dominate him. Despite his age, Seunghyun had something about him that demanded obedience and Dongwook god damn loved obeying him. But now, knowing how deeply Seunghyun loves him, it’s even more overwhelming to be the focus of that much attention.

So he gives as good as he knows Seunghyun wants. He kisses back, wet and sloppy, gasping into Seunghyun’s mouth in soft whimpers as Seunghyun drives his cock right along his prostate with an insistent pressure that no one else has been able to get. It makes his head spin. His eyes slide open as their lips part from one another and he’s greeted with Seunghyun’s hooded gaze staring right at him.

“Ah…fuck…”

“Shit, look at you Dongwookie,” Hyoseob says, fingers skating along his throat and then up to brush over his spit slicked lips. “You love how he fucks you, huh?”

Dongwook nods, the tips of Hyoseob’s fingers slipping in and out of his mouth as he does so because words feel too far away. Seunghyun’s lips tug up at one corner before he presses a quick kiss to Dongwook’s open and gasping mouth and then sits back up. His sudden departure bringing a rush of cold but that’s outweighed by the pleasure of Seunghyun gripping his hips and tugging him back onto his cock, ass and lower back resting against Seunghyun’s thighs. He watches, mouth hanging open uselessly as Hyoseob’s fingers continue to trace over his lips, as Seunghyun’s arms flex from the effort of moving him.

There’s something hot about the way Seunghyun can manhandle him so that it’s less like he’s fucking Dongwook and more like he’s making Dongwook fuck him. His brain fizzles with a feeling that’s almost like panic. It isn’t though. He’s felt it often enough with Seunghyun to know whatever the feeling is, he’s safe. He can let go and just be used and loved and fucked and held.

“I think you should give him your dick, Hyoseob,” Seunghyun says, gaze locked with Dongwook’s. “You want that, babe? Want Seob’s dick in your mouth?”

“Please,” Dongwook says, reaching up blindly and grabbing at Hyoseob’s thigh.

"It’s not the best angle,” Hyoseob says.

“Picky,” Seunghyun says and then he’s pulling Dongwook off his cock and turning him over before grabbing the lube again. “Go on.”

Dongwook crawls over to Hyoseob, pressing their lips together in a kiss before dropping down between his thighs, resting his arms on top of them and grabbing Hyoseob’s hips before taking the tip of his dick in his mouth. Hyoseob is wider than the rest of them. He doesn’t choke on him the way he does on Seunghyun, but he likes the feeling of having his mouth stretched wide enough he can barely remember to breathe. And Hyoseob is nice. He lets Dongwook explore and tease, like he’s more than content to let Dongwook play with him for hours.

It’s hard to think about that though when Seunghyun’s warm hands grab his hips and haul his ass back up before he slides his cock back in. He groans around Hyoseob’s cock, eyes fluttering shut as they tear up. He can count on one hand the amount of times he’s done it like this and the sensations of Seunghyun’s cock driving into him in sharp jabs as he struggles to fit Hyoseob’s dick properly in his mouth is the last bit he needs to stop thinking entirely. He’s distantly aware of Hyoseob laughing and Jiho’s voice murmuring something followed by Hyuk’s soft moan. Then Hyoseob’s fingers are in his hair, holding his head steady as he fucks up into his mouth with soft thrusts that barely have him touching the back of Dongwook’s throat.

All he can do is gasp and moan between them, blunt nails digging at Hyoseob’s thighs as they both move him where they want him. His cock hangs heavy and hard between his own legs, the pleasure from it serving as an intense background noise to the flood of the other sensations rushing through him. He squeezes down around Seunghyun’s cock, shivering at how it feels and at the way Seunghyun swears and grabs at his hips harder.

“I’m not gonna fucking last at all, shit,” Seunghyun gasps out, leaning down so his breath hits the back of Dongwook’s neck. “You feel so good, Dongwook, fuck…”

Dongwook manages a soft whimper in response which turns into a gasping whine when fingers twist in his hair and yank his head up and back. Then he’s pulled upright and back as Seunghyun turns his head just enough to press their lips together in a kiss as he thrusts into him quick and hard, biting at Dongwook’s lower lip as he shoves deep and begins to come. Seunghyun’s voice breaks on a moan of his name and Dongwook nearly goes limp at the sound. Seunghyun holds him close with an arm around his stomach, thrusting into him a few more times as he rides out his orgasm and slows down the kiss to something more gentle.

“Good?” he asks once he pulls away and gently guides Dongwook off his cock.

Dongwook grunts and flops down onto his stomach, trying to catch his breath even as his cock twitches from the feeling of Seunghyun’s come leaking out over his balls. “Fuck…” The word comes out slurred.

“You shouldn’t have gone first, your dick always breaks him,” Hyuk says.

"That just makes him soft and easy, doesn’t it?” Seunghyun says, tugging Dongwook back up. “You wanna finish blowing Hyoseob?”

Dongwook shakes his head even as he moves back over to Hyoseob. Instead of ducking back down though, he climbs into his lap and presses their foreheads together as he reaches down to start stroking Hyoseob’s cock.

“Wanna kiss you,” Dongwook says and his chest goes tight when Hyoseob’s eyes crinkle up as he smiles.

“Sweet Dongwookie,” Hyoseob says. “You can kiss me as much as you want.”

So Dongwook does, pressing his already kiss-swollen lips to Hyoseob’s as he strokes his cock in quick tight strokes the way Hyoseob likes. Hyoseob’s thighs flex beneath him and he huffs out a noise against Dongwook’s lips. Dongwook smiles into the kiss for a moment before reaching up with his other hand to cup the back of Hyoseob’s head to hold him still so he can kiss him deeper. The longer they kiss, the more he comes back to his body, coming back to from whatever lovely space Seunghyun pushed him to.

“Dongwook…close…just a little…yeah…”

He twists his hand on the upstroke and then squeezes hard at the tip before stroking a few more times in quick succession. Hyoseob goes tense all over, back arching enough that his lips separate from Dongwook’s as his eyes flutter shut and he groans out a half desperate noise while his come gets all over Dongwook’s hand and his own stomach. Dongwook brings his hand up to his mouth, licking it clean as Hyoseob stares at him through half-lidded eyes that darken at the sight. He grins and presses his lips to Hyoseob’s again, laughing when Hyoseob pushes him back down.

“I swear to god you’re going to kill me one day,” Hyoseob says once he’s kissed the taste of himself from Dongwook’s mouth.

“Well before he does that, move over, it’s my turn,” Hyuk says.

“What am I, a chew toy?” Dongwook asks as Hyuk shoves Hyoseob away and climbs over him.

“Never,” Hyuk says, bending over him to cup his face and kiss the tip of his nose. “We love you too much for that. But also I really want you to fuck me now, so if you’re down with that-“

“I am very down with that,” Dongwook says in a rush.

Hyuk laughs, lips splitting into the wide smile that Dongwook finds devastating every single time it’s turned on him. There’s something about knowing how sad Hyuk can get that makes his genuine elation and joy all the more infectious and he can’t stop himself from leaning up to kiss him just so he can feel the smile against his lips. They separate long enough for Seunghyun to lean back against the headboard and pull Dongwook between his legs. Hyuk climbs on top of Dongwook, hands resting on Seunghyun’s shoulders as he lines himself up.

“You need more lube?” Dongwook asks.

“I got him nice and wet,” Jiho says.

Dongwook doesn’t get a chance to look at him because the next second, Hyuk is sliding down on his cock, wet and warm and hot and rolling his hips as soon as he has Dongwook’s cock buried all the way in him.

“F-Fuck…”

Hyuk stares down at him, mouth dropped open and eyes fluttering open and shut as he grinds down, squeezing around Dongwook’s cock with a rhythm that should be a fucking sin as far as Dongwook’s concerned. He can’t help but lean forward and press his lips to the tattoo on Hyuk’s chest. He traces the lines with his tongue and teeth, drinking in the sound of Hyuk’s gasps as he makes his way up to his neck and the space the ink curls around by his ear.

“You two are fucking gorgeous together,” Seunghyun says, voice rough.

Hyuk’s gaze flicks down to look at Dongwook as Dongwook pulls back. “Yeah, we are.”

Then his lips are on Dongwook’s, tongue toying with Dongwook’s lip ring. Hyuk isn’t vain – he hates when people focus on his looks. Unless those people are his boyfriends, which Dongwook is grateful for because as much as he loves the thirst trap pictures Hyuk sends him, nothing compares to the pure confidence and sexuality of Hyuk in his lap. Years ago, Dongwook remembers Hyuk’s voice in his ear whispering how lovely it was to feel like Dongwook worshipped him when they fucked. How Dongwook gave him a gift every time. How for just a little while, Hyuk could feel like the most beautiful person on the planet.

How the fuck he hadn’t realized Hyuk was in love with him then he doesn’t know.

But he makes up for it now, at least he hopes he does. He lets his hands slide down to Hyuk’s hips, helping guide him up and down as his thighs begin to shake. Compliments are nice. He can feel the way Hyuk’s pulse beats faster as Seunghyun continues his running commentary of how they look together beneath his lips as he kisses along his neck again. But he wants to compliment Hyuk with just his touch.

“Ah…”

Hyuk’s fingers slide through his hair as Dongwook ducks his head down, neck straining a bit too much to suck at his nipple, tongue sliding against it until it’s stiff before he pulls back. Hyuk tugs at his hair and presses their lips together in a kiss so hard, he’s pushed back into Seunghyun’s chest. It’s all the encouragement he needs to slide both his hands up to span across Hyuk’s ribs and press his thumbs into his nipples, rubbing them just the way he knows Hyuk likes. Hyuk nearly yelps, hips twisting as he clenches down hard around Dongwook’s cock.

“D-Dongwook! F…fuck….ah-“

Dongwook pinches both his nipples and bites at Hyuk’s lower lip, prompting something close to a scream. He’s dimly aware of the others making noise too. He’s focused though, playing Hyuk’s body as best he can to drive him higher and higher. He hadn’t ever managed to make Hyuk come from just nipples alone – he isn’t sure if such a thing is even possible, but when he sees Hyuk look like this, face flushed and eyes glassy, he wants to try. Not today though.

So instead he settles for dropping one hand back down to Hyuk’s dick to play with the tip the way he likes, short strokes and squeezes that make him shiver and shake. Hyuk drops his face into Dongwook’s neck, breath coming hot and fast. As hot as Hyuk’s confidence in bed is, it’s hotter to watch him shake apart. Something about being allowed to see him that vulnerable and desperate makes something possessive uncurl in his chest, and it’s easier to understand why Seunghyun manhandles him so much.

"You feel so good,” Dongwook says.

His words make Hyuk clench down around him again and he starts to lift his head but folds back down as Dongwook braces his heels on the bed and fucks up into him. He doesn’t have the endurance to do it long with all of Hyuk’s weight on him, but it’s enough to make Hyuk start biting at his neck as his arms come to wrap around his shoulders. Seunghyun reaches around him to grab Hyuk’s hips.

"Here, like this,” he says, voice deep and hot against Dongwook’s ears. “Give him what he wants.”

With Seunghyun holding Hyuk up, it’s easier to drive into him, matching the pace that he strokes Hyuk’s cock with each thrust. He wants to last longer, but given all the stimulation he’s already gotten and how wet and hot Hyuk is squeezing around his cock, he feels himself hurtling towards orgasm faster than he wants.

“Hyuk, I can’t…I’m gonna…”

"Yeah, yeah, c’mon, wanna feel you come,” Hyuk pants out, lifting his head enough to speak the words against his cheek.

Their noses knock against each other as they find one another’s lips again and when Hyuk lets out a soft whimper, he curses and comes. Hyuk stares at him with wide eyes, like just the feel of Dongwook coming in him is enough to get him there and Dongwook has just enough presence of mind to reach up with his free hand to pinch one of his swollen nipples. Hyuk chokes out a noise, eyes rolling back as his cock coats Dongwook’s hand with his own release. He jerks in Seunghyun’s and his grip, a low and shaky groan vibrating in his throat before he collapses forward, tears splashing against Dongwook’s collarbone.

Dongwook leans back against Seunghyun as he tries to catch his breath. It’s almost too much to feel Hyuk’s hole quiver around his cock after he’s come, but he doesn’t dare move when Hyuk is still shaking in his arms. In the end, it takes the combined effort of Hyoseob and Seunghyun to separate the two of them. Hyoseob smiles down at them both fondly as Hyuk rolls onto his back, hand limp where it lays over his stomach. Seunghyun kisses his neck, arms loose around Dongwook’s waist and stomach as Dongwook continues to pant, the aftershocks of his orgasm leaving him almost entirely exhausted

“Sex is so much better like this,” he says.

“Like what?” Seunghyun asks before biting at his earlobe.

Dongwook closes his eyes, because he’s pretty sure he can’t look any of them in the eye right now. “Knowing how much you love me.”

He’s not sure what he’s expecting in response. Seunghyun hugs him closer and he feels a hand, Hyuk’s going by the feel of it, pat his knee and another, Hyoseob, squeeze his ankle. When he opens his eyes, he turns his head to see Jiho sitting on the bed next to them, his own gaze dark and so full of love Dongwook feels like he’s going to shake apart. None of them speak as Jiho makes his way across the bed, straddling Seunghyun’s thigh so he can reach over and cup Dongwook’s face in his hands and bring their lips together.

It’s a gentle kiss. Exactly what Dongwook needs for reassurance, and like always Jiho delivers. Dongwook leans forward, tugging himself out of Seunghyun’s grip so he can kiss Jiho back, hands sliding across his neck and then up into his hair. Jiho eases the kiss down and pulls his lips away. When Dongwook opens his eyes, Jiho’s looking right at him.

“We can stop here,” Jiho says. “You’ve done a lot.”

Dongwook shakes his head. “Want you, Jiho. Always want you.”

Jiho looks like he wants to say something else but instead he just kisses Dongwook again. It goes on and on, tongues sliding together. Their fingers slip over each other’s faces, jaws, down their necks and back up again, tracing paths they’ve both known for years before they could even admit what they were and what it meant. It’s better now, with Seunghyun at his back and Hyuk and Hyoseob’s hands on his leg. Complete.

Fuck he’s getting sappy.

He can’t bring himself to be mad about it when he pulls back and sees Jiho staring at him like he’s the most important thing in the world. Jiho pulls him away from the others, just for a moment. Just so Seunghyun can shift away and wrap himself around Hyuk instead with Hyoseob sitting behind them both, giving Jiho space to press Dongwook back down into the bed and bring their lips together again.

Dongwook doesn’t want to say he has favorites. Favorites don’t work in a relationship with five people, he knows that much, but it’d be stupid to deny that the connection he has with Jiho is the same as the one he has with everyone else. Seunghyun is intensity and passion, Hyoseob is reassurance and grounding, and Hyuk is understanding and sensuality, but Jiho is like the air in his lungs, the person who stood by quiet but ready to help him the moment he was ready to help himself. His presence is as certain as the sun rising in the morning.

And for someone like him, that’s the most important thing in the world.

“Here,” Hyuk says, passing Jiho the lube as Jiho sits back on his heels between Dongwook’s spread legs.

“You sure you’re good?” Jiho asks, looking down at Dongwook’s soft cock even as he slicks up his own.

“Yeah, wanna feel you,” Dongwook says.

“Our Dongwookie is so good for us,” Hyoseob says and when Dongwook looks over at him, he smiles as he rubs his hand down Seunghyun’s arm.

“Turn over for me,” Jiho says.

And Dongwook does because he trusts Jiho to give him the closeness he craves. He wraps his arms around one of the pillows, hugging it to his neck and face and chest as Jiho straddles his thighs and rubs the tip of his dick along his hole. He doesn’t tease like Seunghyun did though. As he stretches over Dongwook’s back, he slides inside, cock pressing in deep. His hands come down to stroke over Dongwook’s shoulders before wrapping up under his arms and hooking around the front of his shoulders, anchoring himself to Dongwook as he begins to fuck into him with slow movements.

Like this, it’s easy for Dongwook to turn his head and catch Jiho’s lips with his own. It’s fucking perfect. It feels good to be stretched open, to be held down and fucked with such careful motions even though he’s still soft. He can focus on how Jiho feels inside him, how their skin slides together, how Jiho’s lips feel against his in between each shaky breath. It’s a sensory pleasure so different from anything else he’s felt. Before, it was like chasing the urge to come. Chasing pleasure and the endorphin rush that came with it, the way his brain would mellow out from how Seunghyun dominated him and Hyuk and Hyoseob touched him. But all day, with each of them, it’s been more than that.

And with Jiho, those pleasures are the furthest thing from his mind. All he wants is more of the closeness, the stimulation of his sense of touch and taste and smell, the sound of Jiho’s soft gasps and the sight of his eyes blown wide as he stares into Dongwook’s eyes. It’s more pleasurable than anything else he’s ever felt.

He clenches down around Jiho’s cock, watching as Jiho’s eyes flutter and his lips drop open and he _whimpers_ as if he’s the one being fucked. Which, in a way, Dongwook supposes he is. Being fucked takes being vulnerable and Dongwook doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jiho look this torn apart and raw before.

“Feels good,” he says, brushing his nose against Jiho’s. “You feel so good in me…”

“Dongwook…ah…” Jiho’s eyes squeeze shut, fingers biting into his shoulders as he drives into him. “Dongwook…”

“Yeah, like that, come on Jiho,” Dongwook says, pressing the words into Jiho’s cheek. “You’ve been patient all night. You don’t have to hold out.”

“Want you to feel good,” Jiho gasps out even as he fucks into Dongwook faster.

“I do, you’re making me feel good, I promise,” Dongwook says.

Jiho’s mouth opens but no sound comes out as his hips twitch forward and he spills inside Dongwook with a choked noise. Dongwook tugs at his hair so he’s close enough that he can press their lips together in a sloppy press that he’s not even sure can be called a kiss with all the noise Jiho keeps making. It also doesn’t help that Dongwook can’t stop smiling. He lets Jiho ride out his orgasm, only making a noise of protest when Jiho all but collapses on top of him, face burying in Dongwook’s sweaty neck.

"You’re gonna kill him,” Hyoseob says with mock horror.

Jiho snorts and then begins to laugh, chest vibrating against Dongwook’s back before he’s able to push himself up and pull out with a careful motion. Dongwook has every intention of moving. But even without Jiho crushing him anymore, the feeling of more come sliding out of his hole and the bone deep pleasure of being fucked entirely out of his own mind makes the simple act of rolling over seem like too much.

He floats in the endorphins instead, lets the quiet murmurings of his boyfriends back and forth wash over him. Distantly, he’s aware of the sound of the shower going. The bathroom door clicks shut and then a warm hand runs down his spine from his shoulders to his lower back and he arches into it like a cat. He hears a laugh – Hyoseob. 

“You feel good?” Hyoseob asks.

“Yeah,” Dongwook mumbles. “Love you.”

Hyoseob laughs, soft and full of affection. “Love you too. Hyuk and Seunghyun are showering. You wanna get up and go shower with me in the spare bathroom?”

Dongwook tugs the pillow closer and buries his face in it, conflicted by the desire to never move again and also to get warm and clean.

“I gotta change the sheets, come on,” Jiho says, tugging at his hips.

Dongwook sighs and then groans as he rolls over and sits up, every motion feeling harder than the last. Jiho kisses his cheek before letting Hyoseob take over in pulling Dongwook the rest of the way up and off the bed before helping him out of the bathroom and down the hall. Dongwook leans back against the counter as Hyoseob gets the shower going. The longer he stands, the grosser he feels so it’s a relief when Hyoseob holds the shower door open and gestures for him to join. He sighs as the hot spray washes over him. It soothes some of the aches in his body and he doesn’t hesitate to take the washcloth Hyoseob hands him to start scrubbing the lube and come away.

They clean each other’s backs. And then promptly get distracted trading soft kisses back and forth. It isn’t until they hear the bathroom door open that they pull away. Jiho tugs the glass door open a moment later.

“Got room for one more?” he asks.

“Trade you,” Hyoseob says. “I’m getting prune-y.”

Dongwook doesn’t care about that. He just wants to touch Jiho more. That’s new too. Not wanting to touch them, but knowing he’s allowed to, that wanting to wash Jiho isn’t making him look weird and clingy. He cleans Jiho off with a gentle touch, following the path of the cloth with his finger over each of the tattoos he’s already more than acquainted with. They all wear their ink differently.

Hyuk’s body is a canvas. He accentuates his own features with art, an attempt to deflect from his own beauty with something else. For Hyoseob, it’s like an afterthought, something he wants but doesn’t need. Seunghyun doesn’t talk about his. They remain a mystery and probably always will. Dongwook wears his own like armor, a way to distract from how he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, he just got lucky being able to make music for a living. Jiho’s are a map of his deepest fears and joys. Tattoos make people look tough, and he supposes that makes Jiho the toughest of them all because he has the things he fears losing out on display for anyone to see.

His family. His compassion. His fans. His friends.

“I still can’t wrap my head around how much you all love me,” Dongwook says as he finishes washing him and then reaching back to cut the shower spray off with a twist of the handle.

“I know,” Jiho says. “It’ll take time. I didn’t actually think an orgy would fix that.”

“You’ve thought weirder things,” Dongwook says with a grin.

Jiho just rolls his eyes. “No more of that or I won’t cuddle you when we get back to bed.

Dongwook gives a shrug in response. “I have three more boyfriends.”

Instead of getting indignant, even as a joke, Jiho smiles at him wide and bright. “Yeah. You do, don’t you?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr at the same username


End file.
